Happy New Year Everyone! Welcome to 2017. I have a feeling it’s going to be pretty interesting and unpredictable year!
Everyone has been hating on 2016 for being “the worst,” and I totally sympathize. Certain aspects of it felt that way. However, there were some pretty wonderful things that happened too.
For my family, we experienced some great milestones. Rob graduated from medical school and matched into our preferred program. We made a big move to a place we are loving. Pookie turned 3, and we welcomed Roberta Jr. into our family. That’s a lot in one year for us! No wonder we feel a little exhausted (or is that just all the midnight and 4 am feedings??). 😉
For the past two years, I’ve chosen a word to guide me through the year. In 2015, my word(s) was “slow down.” I wrote it on a white board in my kitchen, where I seemed to spend most of my time. The kitchen also happened to be the place where I felt the most frantic. The words would catch my eye throughout the day as I hustled and bustled about and it helped me immensely to just pause, take a deep breath, and start again with more presence and purpose. It served me well.
My word for 2016 was “trust.” I knew it was going to be a big year. Between The Match process, away rotations, a big move, making new friends and creating a new home, plus the surprise of Roberta Jr. (we expected it to take a lot longer to get pregnant again!), I knew I would drive myself crazy with all the “what-ifs” and unknowns. I needed to have something constant to ground me. Reminding myself to “trust” did just that. I still had some really hard moments, but coming back to “trust” over “fear,” kept me going and hopeful.
This year, my word came to me about a month ago. It popped into my head, like my other words have, and it immediately struck a chord. I’ve been using it on a daily basis and I’m already seeing growth and change in myself. I’m finally ready for what this word can show me.
My word for 2017 is “inward.”
Like all humans do, I give much more attention to looking outward for answers, rather than looking within myself. I habitually get caught up looking for external things to give me re-assurance, approval, acceptance, and happiness.
In Buddhism, one of the main practices we work on is called “nangpa.” Nangpa is Tibetan for “insider,” meaning someone who seeks the truth not from the outside, but from within the nature of their own mind. This practice forms the basis of Buddhist teachings. Being an insider helps us free ourselves from fear and realize the truth of life.
As much as I have tried to go inward throughout the years and throughout my studies in Buddhism, it is really hard! However, I feel finally ready to start moving through this outward-focused habit and make a greater committment to becoming “nangpa.”
My inward focus is asking me to bring my attention to not only taking care of myself, but to be increasingly more present and available for my family and friends, as well as to reach out in my community in ways I have hoped to do for a long time. I want to really start living my values, not just talking about them.
I’m also starting to revisit my purpose for this blog – is it a public diary, a self-help guide, or a potential part-time gig that could provide income? At this point, I’m not sure and I only want to post things that I feel are valuable and useful. After almost two years of posting weekly, it feels right to slow things down for awhile in order to gain some clarity. I plan to continue posting on this blog, I will just do so less frequently and when I feel like I have something truly meaningful to say and share.
And, I’ve also got my hands full with two beautiful children and a husband in residency! So some space and grace is especially needed right now.
So there you have it. I welcome your comments and thoughts – feel free to comment below! – and I encourage you to sign-up to follow my blog via email so you know when a new post goes up.
Thank you, thank you, for reading, following, and supporting me. I am so grateful!!
May 2017 be your year to feel a bit more peace, share a bit more love, and have more fun! xoxoxo