In previous years, I did the whole “new year’s resolutions” thing in hopes of identifying and implementing some of the changes I wanted in my life. Winter break is a nice time to dream, but the hard part was when I went back into my normal life and fell back into old routines and habits. As it happens for most of us, I forgot about the resolutions I made about 3 days later. Ok, maybe 4…
New Year’s resolutions are a nice thought, but they didn’t really do anything for me beyond having me state what I wanted to change, and then me promptly doing none of it. Not really a great way to start a new year.
So last year I decided to change it up and find more of a theme or phrase to carry me through the year. I could use this theme as a guide and to keep returning to again and again.
Any “resolutions” I had became goals that I worked to make into actionable steps and then scheduled them on my calendar. (Yes, some things got rescheduled over and over, and over again, but they were still on there!!)
My theme for 2015 was “slow down.”
Being in my second year of parenthood, having a hubs in med school, and balancing several jobs including my own business, made me feel stretched pretty thin. I wasn’t happy feeling busy and rushed all the time.
“Slow down” popped into my mind one night and I thought, “Ah, yes, universe. I get it. That’s exactly what I need right now.”
I wrote my theme on the white board in my kitchen so I would see it everyday, several times. The kitchen is also where I happen to spend a lot of time these days, and the place where I always feel rushed and frantic.
Many times I’ve been in throes of dealing with a tired and hungry toddler, while I’m battling the hangries myself, trying to whip up something quick (yet healthy and tasty) in a ridiculously short amount of time, when my eye catches the sign in the corner.
It’s like being called out. I know, I know. Rush, rush. It would make me sigh and laugh a little at myself. Ok, Amy, take a deep breath and go back in – a little calmer and more present this time.
With 2016 a few days away, I’ve been pondering what my theme will be for this year. This time it came to me quickly and strongly.
Trust means releasing a bit and letting things be. That’s so hard for me!!
I guess that’s the point though, right?
Having my new theme be “trust” is obvious and a little painful. One of my biggest challenges and downfalls is that I am consumed with doubt. I doubt everything. Like all the time. It’s annoying and not very productive. Once I feel I’ve mastered something, my confidence soars, but the whole process leading up to that is so…uncomfortable.
And it doesn’t serve me. It only make me feel icky and paralyzed.
I know deep down that I need to learn to trust in myself and trust that I can do whatever I’ve set my heart out to do.
I also need to learn to trust the process. I won’t always feel in control or understand what’s going on, but I need to trust that I will work through it.
I need to develop a stronger trust in the universal energy that binds us all together. Trust the places, people, and situations that I’m pulled to and the experiences I will have there.
So, here we go. I’m going to make this real.
I accept this theme for 2016 and promise myself to follow these as best I can:
- Trust where Rob will match for residency.
- Trust that I can meet the goals I’ve set for my business in 2016 (more on that another time!)
- Trust that Rob and I have enough tools and skills to handle his first year of residency (intern year).
- Trust that I can find the support I need for me and Pookie while Rob is an intern.
- Trust that I can step out of my shell, open myself up, and connect with people who will help me develop and grow my business.
- Trust that I will find the time and childcare I need so I can do self-care and meet the goals I have for myself.
- Trust that if we are to have a second baby, it will come. I don’t want to relive the experience I had first time around.
- Trust that our country isn’t going to go down the crapper with this next presidential election.
There we have it. It’s lofty, and scary, but I need this, especially this year with so much change to come.
I must trust.
So, Happy New everyone and best wishes to you for a beautiful, enjoyable 2016 filled with continued returns to the love and peace within. I hope for you what I hope for myself, that my inner voice will come through this year, and although it is scary, believe in that voice and trust it, above all doubt or fear.
May we move a little closer to what we really want in our lives while also being gentle with ourselves in the process.
Do you have a theme you want to embrace this year? I’d love to hear it! Tell others in the comments section so it feels real and has power. When you’ve strongly set your intention, it’s easier to follow! xoxoxo