Ok, guys, this is totally going to happen! My first recital in about five years! I feel a little bit like Princess Anna when she’s psyching herself to jump over the cliff:
Christoph: “Ok, on 3…”
Anna: “Ok, tell me when, I’m ready to go. I was born ready!”
My dress rehearsal last week went great, and I’m ready to do this thing. Waiting is the worst.
I feel so fortunate to have some many talented musicians joining me and willing to follow along with all my crazy ideas. As you can imagine, I’m not doing the usual stuff. It’s just not how I roll. 😉
It will be recorded, so I’ll post some or all of it once I have it in hand.
Since my mind is focus on the recital, I thought I’d give you a little behind-the-scenes leading up to today!
I had to use the mindset of preparing for a marathon for this recital (not like I’ve ever run one, but I used my runner roommate’s practice strategy to help me). Steady, regular practice at varying intervals. Sometimes I’d just do a “jog,” other times a short “run,” and some days, the whole thing plus some. Got those muscles workin’!
Here’s what the recital prep roadmap has looked like for the last couple of months:
#1 – Picking songs. I started drafting up a program in early summer, trying different things out and seeing what would fit with my voice, the demands of the program, and the program flow. The program was solidified by late summer.
#2 – Getting others onboard. Starting reaching out to see who would be available. Lucky me, most of them were! 🙂
#3 – Scheduled a first rehearsal one month before the recital and a dress rehearsal a couple days before.
#4 – Panic sets in when I’m about two weeks away from my first rehearsal and I haven’t learned half the songs yet. Is my voice in shape enough to even do this? Bad thoughts, bad thoughts, bad thoughts…
#5 – Re-prioritized my life to practice whenever possible. Fears melt away. This is going to be ok. My voice can do this. I can do this.
I had to do some practicing with Pookie “helping.”
#6 – First rehearsal – the tell all sign if this was really going to happen. It went great, happiness ensued!
#7 – Detailed songwork and starting to get pumped.
#8 – Dress rehearsal goes great. A friend points out some old habits creeping in. Re-enter bad thoughts. Re-enter mantras and lots of “you are enough” on repeat.
#9 – Last run throughs and spot checks on my own. I’m so ready to do this. I’m keeping focused on my “why.” Why am I singing all these songs for people? Why am I doing this to myself? Voluntarily?
#10 – Get ‘er done. Today’s the day!!
So let me elaborate a bit on point #9. Why do this? I have a two reasons. The more selfish reason is that I needed to prove to myself that I can still do this now that I’m a mother. My life has been so focused on teaching the last several years (it’s more consistent income) and then enter in Pookie, and I just didn’t have time for professional singing.
But I need to sing. It makes me so happy.
There was no way I would fully commit to getting back “in the game” if I didn’t make the stakes high. So, prepare an hour long program of completely new repertoire (except for one song) and perform it for all my friends, my students, and my colleagues? Talk about getting real!
The real “why” though is much bigger than myself. Why I sing and share it with others really comes down to this: There is a lot of suffering in this world that is incredibly unbearable to stomach at times. The only thing I can do about it is to give what I feel the remedy is for hate, hurt, and longing. The remedy is love. Love is the cure. I have many ways I try to bring more love into the world and one of them is by using my voice through song.
Singing helps us better understand our experiences in this life and connect with others sharing this crazy human journey with us. Whether we are happy, angry, sad, hopeful, or lonely, singing provides an outlet for us to express this and find some resolution in that we’ve been heard. It’s a beautiful and powerful thing.
So there you have it! Here’s to spreading love through singing in my little corner of the world! 🙂